Perspective

Sometimes I look at the world around me and wonder what I was thinking bringing a child into this.

Sometimes I look at my child and realize that she's just what this world needed.

Sometimes Special Needs Moms Feel Like They Can Do It.

I thought it made a good parallel with my last post. :) Please excuse my generalities, I know I'm very knew to this game and I don't mean to be oversimplifying anyone else's journey. I think I need to break it down into very small pieces for myself right now as I process.

Tonight D finished the girlie's sand and water table. I'll post pictures later! It's gorgeous. Her indoor sensory table should be finished in the next couples days. She was delighted and played with the sand until she had to come inside. The cashier asked D if he was getting organized (storage bins) and he said he was making a stim table for his daughter who has SPD - we don't have an specific diagnosis yet but we know her struggles lie somewhere in the sensory processing/integration range. It was cool to hear him explain it in his own words. The cashier has a fifteen year old son who has sensory issues and likes washing dishes even though it takes him forever because he's soothing himself with the feel of the water on his hands. At dinner the sauce on the R's chicken was too spicy for her and we got her fresh rice and traded her our chicken that had the sauce mostly wiped off from stirring it into our rice. It worked and it felt easy.

It's funny, just like the little things make this real and leave me crying, it's also the little things that every once in a while make me feel like I can do this. I'm learning to really enjoy those moments when I have them.

Special Needs Moms Cry.

This journey has a steep learning curve. And there's no waiting to learn, no
pause button to hit while we figure this out. Last week my realization was "Special needs moms spend a whole lot of time on the phone." This week it's simply "Special needs moms cry." Not often --right now, honestly, I just don't have time to cry. But sometimes it all comes pouring out.

I added a tag line to the bottom of the page. "This blog wasn't supposed to be about sensory issues and special needs. But it is." My life, my daughter's life, wasn't supposed to be about those things. She is brilliant! She's more alive than anyone else I've ever met. But some days, some seasons I guess, it is going to be about those things. And my job is to do everything in my power to fight and advocate for her. And my job is also to not let it be about those things at all. She is four, and it's a sunny day. She is so much more than the things that challenge her.

And I just added two new labels to this post that I have never used before - "sensory issues" and "special needs". Yup, special needs moms cry.

Welcome to this crazy journey we found ourselves on.

So Proud!

This is the final result of our recent art/upcycling project!

Laundry Detergent and Hair Detangler

Two links with recipes for sensitive skin friendly products. Now I have to find good prices on these ingredients. Any ideas?

Laundry Detergent for Pennies

Natural Organic Hair Detangler

I won't be using the lavender oil; due to our "baby footrubs" bedtime ritual when R was smaller lavender makes us all sleepy. :) I'd love to end up with a "citrus-y" scent!

Thoughts of Spring Blog Party

I'm participating in my first blog party! I desperately need to write, and Spring is definitely on my mind so I couldn't argue. Here's the questions I copied from dancing barefoot on weathered ground. Wanna join in the fun? There are lots of super fun prizes!

How would people describe your personality? (If they could only use ONE word.) Are they right?

Crazy? No doubt they would be right. I don't have any idea where I first heard it, but I often quote the phrase "Crazy keeps me sane." That pretty much sums it up.


What celebrity/celebrities would create a “Star-Struck” feeling if you saw them in real life?

Not a big fan of celebrities. I'm amazed by Angelina Jolie, so if we had to do a true celebrity I'd go with her. I feel star-struck every time I talk to Olafur Arnalds and I so want to sit down and have a cup of coffee with Kate Hansen someday.

Who is your favorite blogger? Why?

Whoa hard! I'm actually going to have to go with Red Light | Dark Room. Surprisingly it's not a "Mommy Blog". Most of the 214 tying for 2nd favorite are. I dream of volunteering in St. Kilda for a month some day. Book release is next week!

What is your comfort food/drink?

Hot tea. I don't drink it often when I'm happy, but if I'm ill or unhappy sipping hot tea makes me feel safe and cared for.

Be brave – tell us something very random and weird about yourself.

Random and weird I do well so it's difficult to think of something I need to be brave to share. I adore my short, short hair. When I try to grow it out I look at pictures of it short and seriously morn it. :)

Do you have a strong desire to do something you’ve never done?

Yes! Tons of things.

What is it?

One thing? I want to catch a baby.

Movies: Action, Drama, Romantic Comedy, Documentary, Comedy? What are your favorite genres?

Psychological drama

Books: Fiction, Non-Fiction, Romance, Biographies, True Stories, Self-Help, Devotional/Study? What are your favorite types of reading material?

I've been reading a lot non-fiction lately but I picked up Nineteen Eighty Four finally Thursday night and it was so deeply refreshing to read fiction again.

Music: Funk, Rock, Country, Jazz, Classical, Film Score, Blues, Classic Rock, Crooner, Alternative, Heavy Metal, Techno? What are your favorite types?

Indie/Pop I also have a strong propensity to answer multiple choice questions without using one of the choices.

If you inherited a million dollars, what is the first thing you would do with your money?

The first thing would be to pay off our home. Then I'd put it on the market and buy very a small farm closer to Dee's work. :)

Name one weakness of yours (confession is good for the soul).

I cannot keep my bedroom neat and organized. I'm incredibly messy.

If you could live anywhere at all (and take all your loved ones with you), where would you go?

All of my loved ones? Seriously? I need a commune in the Midwest. New Zealand is looking good though. . .

Strange Talent? Can you juggle basketballs, put your legs behind your head or perform some other strange feat?

I have no strange talents. :)

What’s something you consider yourself to be good at? (Don’t worry, it’s not bragging, it’s acknowledging a God given gift).

I have no modesty. If you need info but you're embarrassed to ask come talk to me. I can talk about anything. How's that for a talent?

What is one of your favorite things to catch a whiff of?

A new baby's hair

When you leave a social gathering, do you wish: You would have talked more or You would have talked less?

Less

If money wasn’t a factor, what stores would you shop in?

Small privately owned shops in far away countries :)

What is your greatest fear or strange phobia?

My strangest phobia would be tsunamis. Real threat here in the Midwest. Dee says it's because the water isn't bottled. He could have a point.

What is your greatest accomplishment?

Stepping away from everything I knew and had experienced about parenting and taking a whole different path.

What are your favorite animals?

Dog and giraffes - really I just love animals. You'd be hard pressed to find one I didn't like. Even opossums.

Are you a hopeless romantic?

No. But because of that I'm a complete sucker for romance when I run into it. :)

What movie or book character can you most relate to?

Mmm, I can list songs I relate to, but a movie or book character? Leave a comment and tell me who you think of!

Beyond Society and Ego

"So, the parent must step out of time and place and become the parent this child needs, not the parent that society (and the parent's ego) dictates. It requires an almost superhuman love, where the parent's expectations are set aside and the needs of the child are met first." -- Demitri Papolos, M.D., and Janice Papolos